A planned terror attack against the campaign headquarters of Florida Senator Marco Rubio has been thwarted, the FBI announced this morning. Intercepted telephone messages from the Association of People With Little Hands led FBI intelligence to a stockpile of huge, red foam rubber gloves that were printed with the logo,”Yes, we can too be trusted!” The gloves, usually found at sporting events with an extended forefinger saying “We're Number 1,” had been altered to have an extended middle finger instead. Attackers apparently planned on forcing all members of Rubio's campaign staff to wear the modified gloves during Rubio's next Republican debate. Rubio's strategy planners blamed the planned attack on either Vladimir Putin or David Cameron, both of whom vehemently protested Rubio's widely reported attack on people with little hands.
“You know what they say about people with little hands,” the Republican Presidential hopeful said thoughtlessly in an attack apparently aimed at Donald Trump. “They can't be trusted,” he said.
Rubios' planners said Putin and Cameron were being small minded as well as probably small handed.