The Election Industry

U.S. unemployment numbers are down for the first time in four years! The new figures haven't been felt in all industries, however, as mostly electronic and print media companies, and button manufacturers seem to be cranking up the presses, so to speak. The rapid rise in employment seems to be fueled by revenues coming from unannounced, even secretive sources that appear to have only U.S. origins. The increase in U.S. employment has not yet been matched by any International fluctuations as far as the IMF can tell.

Greece, for example, has shown no such drastic increase, nor has Spain, with its chronic unemployment for anyone under the age of thirty. In addition, neither Ireland nor Portugal has shown any such employment surge. China, however, is singular in its recent manufacturing increases as several large U.S. Button manufacturers recently shipped new orders overseas to increase profits and avoid U.S. Taxes. These companies have told their overseas manufacturers to prepare for drastic increases in the third quarter of this year.  Chinese officials say they are absorbing the increased orders without increasing manufacturing capabilities as they are not convinced the cycle is sustainable, at least not for more than the end of this year. 

The United States is apparently alone in this drastic, unexpected rise in employment.  Oddly, only certain segments of the economy are feeling the growth, particularly those involved in consulting, advertising, teeth whitening, bumper sticker distribution, and ghost writing, which has shown an astonishing 400 percent growth since last December. Florida led the way recently with an unaccountable twenty-five million dollar surge that unfortunately dissipated soon after January 31^st. 

State officials hurriedly pointed out the indicators for increased spending are on the horizon for the middle of this year that they hope will possibly surpass the huge amount seen the first part of this year. State officials also hope Tampa, for reasons not disclosed, will be the economic “Start Button” for Florida, but those same officials, off-the-record, indicated past histories have shown that Tampa can not sustain either the enthusiasm for unbridled spending or a winning NFL football team.

Republican pundits dismissed the economic growth, which reflects well on the Obama administration, saying they have seen this kind of election trickery before. One House of Representative member commented from the first Tee at Doral's, Blue Monster “I have never seen so many caddies here before in my life, but that doesn't always translate into sustainable growth! I know that after the beginning of next year things will fall back like they always do. We need to cut Social Security and Medicare as soon as possible!  ...Fore!”

While the White House denies any specific Federal program can be attributed to the increased spending, it states emphatically the White House can not be responsible for decisions made by other branches of the government that allow people, such as General Motors, Pfizer, Boeing, or any other person, from revitalizing any industry they choose to invest in.

The White House says it will continue to do its part to reduce unemployment by encouraging use of radio, television, surfing the Internet, and wearing buttons. 

 

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